The restoration of a McDonalds in Alabama is a signficant step in the progress of civilization, writes a prominent Misesian, who was struck with awe by the beauty of it all: "I snapped a dozen images of their newly restored interior, which is absolutely beautiful." Absolutely, let us remember, means ultimately and without exception. McDonalds has, it seems, discovered the solution to the age-old human difficulty in finding enough to eat, and anyone who is not entranced with either the beauty of their design or the elegance of their cuisine is a hypocritical snob:
"McDonald's is a prime example of how the market has overcome a fundamental human problem: getting enough to eat. This is a problem that vexed the whole of humanity from the beginning of time. Now it appears to be almost entirely solved, thanks to institutions such as McDonald's, which people feel entitled to criticize and smear because they seem to be such a fixed element in the universe."
And reality TV shows solve the problem of providing the masses with great and uplifting literature, and a 40 of Night Train beats that French junk any day. I'm going home to sell the piano, chop up the dulcimer, and throw out all my Mozart recordings. Kanye's the man.
Newt Gingrich says Obama is so bad that black people are going to vote Republican, as if most black people in America wouldn't vote for the devil himself because he's black. Newt's real hope is not that black Democrats will vote Republican but that white Republicans will be dumb enough to vote for him. It turns out that even his paid campaign staff doesn't support him.
Chicago's new top cop went to "Fr." Michael Pfleger's anti-white racist Church and blamed Chicago's criminal problems on a federally encouraged flow of firearms that he compared with slavery and Jim Crow. As a cop in New Jersey, he said, he came home after attending the crime scene of a brutal murder, and turned on the TV. As luck would have it, it was Sarah Palin's television series. "She was caribou hunting and talking about the right to bear arms. Why wasn't she at the crime scene with me?" I wish I were clever enough to have made this up, because I'd be making money, hand over fist, working for The Daily Show. I am sure all those middle class Chicagoans who voted for Rahm will sleep much easier tonight to know that Chief Garry McCarthy is on the job, and even without Sarah Palin, he will be pounding the pavement, protecting the ganbangers from the illegal firearms that government has forced them to buy. You can see it all on WLS.
Many Catholics will be angry about the quotation marks around "Fr." There have always been bad priests, but Pfleger is a preacher of hatred and race war. Why he is allowed to run around in public, much less in the guise of a priest, I leave it to the Cardinal Archbishop of Chicago to explain. If he attended Klan rallies and called for lynching blacks, Pfleger would be defrocked soon enough. What I have never understood is the stupidity of his black followers who do not appear to feel insulted when Pfleger breaks into his minstrel show ebonics routine. It's a little like Barry O'Bama speaking with an Irish brogue.
Speaking of Barry's brogue, Michelle says she feels as warm and fuzzy in Africa as Barry did in Ireland. It's nice she gets to travel with her family, and I am absolutely certain she is conducting top level affairs of state.
Those courageous House Republicans have voted to condemn Obama's war upon the Libyan people, but, to show how fair-minded they are, they refused to cut off the funding. Gosh, I'm glad we have Republicans in Congress, because it doesn't matter what lawmakers do. What they say is all that really counts. That is why I am voting for Romey or Pawlenty or Bachman or Rick Perry, because they all say such nice things. Rush Limbaugh believes them, and who am I not to take Rush on faith?
Thomas Fleming is the former editor of Chronicles: A Magazine of American Culture. He is the author of The Politics of Human Nature, Montenegro: The Divided Land, and The Morality of Everyday Life, named Editors' Choice in philosophy by Booklist in 2005. He is the coauthor of The Conservative Movement and the editor of Immigration and the American Identity. He holds a Ph.D. in classics from the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill. Before joining the Rockford Institute, he taught classics at the University of Miami of Ohio, served as an advisor to the U.S. Department of Education, and was headmaster at the Archibald Rutledge Academy. He has been published in, among others, The Spectator (London), Independent on Sunday (London), Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, USA Today, Chicago Sun-Times, National Review, Classical Journal, Telos, and Modern Age. He and his wife, Gail, have four children and four grandchildren.