Cultural Revolutions

Welcome to Holyland

God is back! And He has His own amusement park right here in Florida—you know, home of Disneyland, Universal Studios, and Seaworld. Welcome to Holyland!

Complete with a replica of Jesus's tomb, a bookstore and gift shop appropriately called "The Old Scroll," a legion of actors in biblical-era costume (including armored Roman soldiers) detailing the persecution of the early Christians, it's easy to imagine how Jesus must have felt walking the streets of Capernaum or the waters of the Sea of Galilee. I can almost taste the pomegranates now. And all for a measly $17. It sure beats the hell out of that other shrine down the road where, in place of a golden calf, they worship some silly rodent.

The only problem is that this latest attraction in the Sunshine State is currently under attack by a group of militant Jews, led by Mr. Irv Rubin of the Jewish Defense League, who feel the new park is nothing less than a conspiracy designed to undermine Judaism by stealthily attempting to convert Jews to Christianity, a blasphemy in itself worthy of a Roman crucifixion. To back him up, Mr. Rubin, along with Rabbi Merrill Shapiro of the Congregation Beth Am, has encouraged the entire Jewish community in Orlando—and anyone else, for that matter—to boycott the new Holyland.

If not for the Christian elements, presumably many Jews would welcome these 15 acres of prime Promised Land—which...

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