The English Rejoice at Scotland's Coming Independence

Letter From England

Everyone in Britain knows that it is just a matter of time before Scotland becomes independent and reverts to medieval chaos. The English Labour Party's plan of establishing a devolved but subordinate parliament in Edinburgh to be dominated forever by inept Labour MPs recruited from the decaying slums of Glasgow has failed. The secessionist Scottish National Party will clearly win a large majority in the new local Scottish legislature at the next election, and the tartan wings of the three English parties—Labour, Liberal, and Conservative —will be destroyed. Labour cannot even depend on the votes of its traditional ethnic minority supporters, the Hibernians and the Muslims. Scottish secession is certain, either after a series of Quebec-style salami referenda or through a unilateral declaration of independence by an inebriated Edinburgh legislature.

Americans may believe that the English will be distressed at losing Scotland in the same way they still regret losing the United States; on the contrary, this is wonderful news. The current English subsidy to Scotland probably costs each individual English taxpayer more than the vast subsidies they hand out to European peasants through the European Union's Common Agricultural Policy. When Scotland goes, not only will the English lose an uncouth neighbor, but every taxpayer will be many pounds a week better off. What is more, England need never again face the menace of...

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