Surviving the Budget Crisis

My dear Hobson,

The bleak tone of your email has distressed me.  You report waking on the morning of November 7 convinced that a vast majority of politicians—Republicans and Democrats—are certifiable lunatics.  According to your somewhat incoherent letter—were you inebriated, or are all those sentence fragments and dangling prepositions the dismal product of your recently acquired university education?—you arrived at this conclusion by looking closely at the history of the last twelve years and our burgeoning national debt.  How, you ask me, can we go on electing men and women, Republicans and Democrats, who clearly have no idea how to get a grip on the federal budget?  Why, you wonder, can’t they understand that a few budgetary snips will make little difference in our plight?  Why, you want to know, can’t we just admit we’re out of money?

For heaven’s sake, nephew, cut the hysterics and pull yourself together.  Stop being such a naughty, negative boy: You’re worse than that brutish tyke in “The Emperor’s New Clothes” who spoiled all the fun of a parade.  The Land of O, as I have affectionately dubbed our republic, O referring to Opportunity and not to our current pooh-bah, offers a young man with your high self-esteem, ossified brain, and gift for gab a plentitude of prospects for...

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