Cultural Revolutions

Perry Potestas

Rick Perry, believe me, is no more going to prison than I’m going to bounce into his office one fine day to sign him up for an Obama fundraising dinner (an occasion prospectively disadvantageous to the health and well-being of both statesmen, should they meet in the receiving line).

The ins and the outs of the indictment leveled at Perry in late summer are a little complex.  But let that go for a minute.  The ins and outs, the twirls and twists and curlicues of legal reasoning, don’t matter.  That’s right.  They don’t matter at all.  In fact, they are unbelievably silly, considered in this context.  You ask me to believe that a governor of Texas is in legal jeopardy on account of vetoing a bill?  I ask you in return why you apparently suppose the continuous consumption of Lone Star longnecks on an empty stomach elevates the reasoning powers.

Rick Perry is in this fix, if you want to call it a fix—indicted by a state grand jury on two counts for felony abuse of power—because the meanness of that which we pleasantly call politics has conventionalized itself.  Oh—you’re a conservative!  (Or even a liberal!)  That means, in the conversational patois of Texas, that you’re a lowdown sidewinder that I’m afixin’ to shoot the rattles off.  If you’re not on my side, you couldn’t be honest!  And...

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