Vital Signs

Mailer on Madonna

Years ago, in an article he wrote for the New Yorker titled "My Philosophy," in a section subheadlined "Eschatological Dialects as a Means of Coping with Singles," Woody Allen wrote: "We can say that the universe consists of a substance, and this substance we will call 'atoms,' or else we will call it 'monads.' Democritus called it atoms, Leibniz called it monads. Fortunately, the two men never met, or there would have been a very dull argument."

Well, Democritus has, alas, finally met Leibniz, sort of. Norman Mailer has interviewed Madonna. He talked about this talk on national TV. And it was indeed very dull. In fact, what H.L. Mencken once said about Thorstein Veblen can also be said about Mailer blabbing mindlessly about Madonna, the "most famous woman in the world," if we can believe the recent television movie about her life: he does indeed have unprecedented talent for saying nothing in an august and heroic manner.

When asked on Good Morning America why we should find Madonna fascinating, Mailer said: "I respect her because she's not predictable. She's one of the few artists we've had in America who is not predictable."

Get serious, please! Whatever Madonna does, she is totally predictable. And what's totally predictable is that she will do whatever a slut does. The woman is predictably vile.


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