Let Us Now Praise Famous G-Men

Over the past few years, the United States federal government attempted a coup d’état against its own chief executive. Working from “opposition research” paid for by Hillary Clinton and the Democratic Party, the Deep State and its partners in the media came within a hair’s breadth of taking down a sitting president. This was the Night of the Long Knives, J. Edgar Hoover style.

And it was all a hoax. P. T. Barnum gave the world the “Feejee Mermaid” in 1842, but it turned out to be a monkey torso sewn onto a fishtail. And yet, the Feejee Mermaid has infinitely more credibility than Russiagate, that epoch in our history during which approximately half the country took a sprinting leap over the edge of Cape Lunacy and plunged into the dark conspiratorial waters below. Donald Trump, the Manhattan billionaire and reality TV star who outsmarted the entire Republican Party—admittedly not that hard to do—got himself elected president. But he was really a Russian spy, an agent of the Kremlin pretending to be the leader of the free world, but in reality sending coded messages to Moscow. Our democracy had been hacked! Russia—and in particular that leisured villain, Vladimir Putin—found a way to gather all the little threads and levers of American political power into one hand, and then to yank on this one and that one to make our republic dance around like a wooden marionette...

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