Dixie for Dummies

“Disguise the fact as you will, there is an enmity between the Northern and Southern people that is deep and enduring, and you never can eradicate it—never!”

—Alfred Iverson

Many Chronicles readers are probably already familiar with Reg-nery’s Politically Incorrect Guides (P.I.G.) series, two of which have achieved best-seller status in recent years.  Currently, there are eight titles in the series, the most recent being Clint Johnson’s Politically Incorrect Guide to the South.

Johnson claims to be from a small town in Florida, called Fish Branch, and currently lives in North Carolina.  I say “claims to be” because I suspect that Johnson is really a Connecticut Yankee who, having moved to the South in the recent past, has had a “born again as a Southerner” experience.  I have looked at a map of Florida, and no such place as Fish Branch appears there.  Admittedly, it may be a very small town.  But I wonder whether Fish Branch may, in fact, be a figment of Johnson’s imagination.  Perhaps he is so deeply abashed by his Northern origins that he has repressed the hateful memory.  Why should I make such a libelous assertion?  Well, perhaps it is because, like so many religious converts, Johnson defends his faith with all the boasting...

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