The Rockford Files

Bread and Circuses

A real loaf of bread is not that hard to make.  Flour, water, yeast—that’s all it takes.  A little salt and oil may change the flavor and texture for the better, but you can make a better loaf than any you can buy in an American supermarket with just three ingredients and a little heat.  I like to bake my bread inside a Dutch oven, to trap the steam so that the loaf will rise better and come out with a perfect crust, but even that is just a matter of technique.  I’m convinced that, given enough time and those three ingredients, a monkey could be trained to make an acceptable loaf.

Unfortunately, the current crop of Republican presidential candidates, to a man, do not rise to the level of monkeys.  If there is any justification at all for a two-plus year race for the Republican nomination, it’s bread and circuses.  Yet, so far as I can see, nothing even faintly edifying has emerged from endless months of staged “debates,” nor anything more amusing than a primate hurling its own scat against the walls of the monkey house at the Milwaukee County Zoo.

Perhaps I’m being a bit unfair to Ron Paul, an intelligent and principled man who does seem like he could be taught how to bake a decent loaf of bread.  But, on principle, he would probably insist on buying it from Walmart instead.

None of the other potential...

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