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I Need to Take a Fifth

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By:Thomas Fleming | May 22, 2013

 

If we lived in a real (not to say free) country, then we would be reading something like the following exchanges:

 

Congressman Issa:  So, Ms Lerner, how and when exactly did you learn that your department was illegally targeting conservative and pro-life groups.

Lerner:  Congressman Issa, on the advice of my attorney, I respectfully invoke my rights under the Fifth Amendment not to incriminate myself.

Issa:  Ms Lerner, your statement is ridiculous. First, you obviously surrendered your right to remain silent when you read a prepared statement.  When you said, and I quote, "I did nothing wrong," were you then saying that what your department did was legal and ethical?

Lerner:  Congressman Issa, on the advice of my attorney, I respectfully invoke my rights under the Fifth Amendment not to incriminate myself.

Issa:  Then, just so I'll understand, you actually do think that if you tell this committee the truth you will be incriminating yourself?

Lerner:  Congressman Issa, on the advice of my attorney, I respectfully invoke my rights under the Fifth Amendment not to incriminate myself.

Issa:  Do you own a dictionary?

Lerner:  Congressman Issa, on the advice of my attorney, I respectfully invoke my rights under the Fifth Amendment not to incriminate myself.

Issa:  Because according to the dictionary, incriminate means: "to charge with a crime."  What is the crime you would be charging yourself with, if you told this committee the truth?

Lerner:  Congressman Issa, on the advice of my attorney, I respectfully invoke my rights under the Fifth Amendment not to incriminate myself.

Issa:  You are an employee of the Federal Government.  Do you honestly think that someone who takes the taxpayer's money as a salary is not responsible to those same taxpayers?

Lerner:  Congressman Issa, on the advice of my attorney, I respectfully invoke my rights under the Fifth Amendment not to incriminate myself.

Issa:  And do you think it is ethical or even legal for you as a Federal employee to refuse to cooperate with a Congressional committee?

Lerner:  Congressman Issa, on the advice of my attorney, I respectfully invoke my rights under the Fifth Amendment not to incriminate myself.

Issa:  Ms Lerner, in putting yourself above the law, you have violated both the public's trust and the laws of this land.  I have here a warrant for your arrest, and you will have plenty of time to consult a dictionary in the days, weeks, months, and years to come...

Lerner and Issa don't care about what I think,

I guess I'll just sit here and drink

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