Back to School, Back to Hell

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By:Eugene Girin | September 11, 2014

Both Dr. Fleming's column "Thinking Outside the Boxes" in the current issue of the magazine and John Seiler's "Welcome Back to the Slammer...er...School" blog on our website inspired me to share some of my personal experiences with the 12 years of torment known as school. I began my grade school education in the last months of the USSR's existence in September 1991 and finished it towards the end of Dubya's first term. It spanned two countries, one state, and two counties.

In his column, Dr. Fleming compares "a boy brought up reading Homer and Scott and Stevenson" to a boy watching pop-culture, Hollywood dreck. I would add that most boys in grade school today, would not even know who Walter Scott and Robert Louis Stevenson are, and would maybe hear of Homer after watching Troy with Brad Pitt and Eric Bana. 

I spent my first through third grades in a rather average school in a rather average post-Soviet capital. But my peers read and discussed authors like Stevenson, Dumas, and Conan Doyle. When I arrived to America and started attending first, a modern Orthodox yeshiva (which had mostly secular, upper middle class American Jewish kids), and then public schools in a White, middle class outburb of New York City, my new classmates were blissfully unaware of the above-mentioned authors and when they read at all, they read either comic books or the Goosebumps series of R.L. Stine. I got my first writer's honorarium for a senior essay I wrote extolling the virtues of reading, explaining that both in my old country and new, reading great books made me think for myself (read: disbelieve official propaganda).

As for the prissy, effeminate state of today's schoolboys lamented by John Seiler, I could not agree more. I remember the hallway and schoolyard battles we used to have back in Kishinev, where boys could be boys and push, shove, throw an occasional punch, play tag, and wrestle. Back there you knew, that if you insult someone, you'll probably have to face him in a fistfight.

Needless to say, such masculinity was nowhere to be found in my new American schools. I remember when a friend and I decided to settle accounts with two obnoxious American Jewish classmates who kept making fun of our off-the-boat accents and even more insultingly, did not pass the ball to us in soccer. On the last day of school, Andrei and I asked Evan Gottlieb and Ben Goldenberg to "come outside for a talk". And when our cowardly adversaries refused, we, like Vladimir Putin years later, threatened to "rub them out in the loo". I still remember their pale faces and how they whimpered about going to the principal. 

I do not mention Andrei's last name for a reason. You see, about seven years afterwards, he fled to Russia to avoid felony charges. And I became a criminal defense lawyer. Go figure.

Comments

 

 
Robert
Mudville
9/11/2014 03:46 PM
 

  As the Mississippi Delta Blues singer, Big Jack Johnson once wrote in song : "Its been a long time a'comen." There is a book about what I witnessed as an undergraduate " Truth on Trial-- Liberal Education Be Hanged " It is not a big deal as far as books go, except it is very expensive to obtain, written by a former teacher who grew up in the amateur boxing ring and ended up teaching Latin at some out of the way spot. It reads like Sergeant Friday providing just the facts.

 
 
Dan Hayes
Rego Park
9/11/2014 05:51 PM
 

  At the time of your early education in Kishinev, and even in America, I believe that you were not yet subjected to one of the later manifestations of the nanny education state: the all-out war on bullying, a prime exemplar of "the prissy, effeminate state of today's schoolboys lamented by John Seiler."

 
 
Allen Wilson
LR
9/12/2014 07:20 PM
 

  This article made me remember something I had forgotten about for years. We had a very gorgeous 22 year old substitute teacher for a while during fifth grade because our also very gorgeous 22 year old real teacher was off on maternity leave (we boys were lucky that year, we had plenty to gawk at, and in fact that's about all I remember about that school year). At the end of her last day with us, a few girls had gathered around her desk talking to her, and one or more of them apparently showed interest in being a teacher some day, and wanted to know what it took to become one. I overheard her tell them something which I found astonishing at the time. If memory serves, and to paraphrase, it went like this: "I really didn't know what I wanted to do after college, I wasn't the smartest person in the world, and I only took an education degree because it was easy and the job pays well and has good benefits. Most education majors aren't that smart. You wouldn't believe how dumb a lot of them are. Education is what less intelligent students change their major to when they can't cut it anywhere else. They drop out of other majors because they're too dumb for them and are getting bad grades and are about to flunk out, and then major in education because it's easy, and then their grades go up. Most teachers really aren't that smart and they don't know much of anything. You really don't have to know much to be a teacher", etc. I was astonished to hear her say these things. I think she was trying to burst some bubbles for some of these girls who trusted what they were told by their teachers a little too much and were thinking about becoming teachers themselves. She may have been smarter than she let on.

 
 
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