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Put John McCain in a Padded Cell

Sen. John "Invade the world, invite the world" McCain recently treated American television viewers to another of his trademark hysteric attacks on Russia. He told CNN's Candy Crowley:

"Russia is a gas station masquerading as a country . . . Look at Moldova and Georgia, both of whom are occupied by Russian troops as we speak, a path toward membership in NATO.”

Now, if Putin's Russia is a gas station masquerading as a country, then Obama's America is a Walmart masquerading as a country. Oh, wait, Walmart is too generous a metaphor. Obama's America is more like a big, rundown supermarket in a Rust Belt inner city ghetto than a Walmart.

This latest outburst from America's most criminally insane politician is part and parcel of his unending quest to provoke an armed confrontation between the US and Russia. He first attempted to goad the Bush administration into conflict with Putin in 2008. Then, the forces of the tie-munching Mikheil Saakashvili - a politician whose insanity was equalled only by McCain's - commenced a brutal invasion of Russian-protected breakaway South Ossetia and were swiftly repulsed. The Brown Revolution and Crimea's return to Russia was McCain's second chance for a fisticuffs between America and Russia (five and a half years ago, it was "We are all Georgians now", a few weeks ago it was "We are all Ukrainians now"). No luck this time either.

I predict that the next outlet for McCain's unhinged foreign policy will be Trans-Dniester. After all, the Russian-speaking region has been de facto independent since 1990 and recently asked to rejoin Russia. The fact that a limited contingent of Russian peacekeepers is stationed in Trans-Dniester (just like in South Ossetia), drove McCain to declare Moldova "occupied by Russian troops". 

His next big fantasy is to have Moldova admitted into NATO making it easier to spark a conflict between Russia and the West. Luckily for all of us, the chances of that happening are rather slim. As recent events have shown, the current administration will make anti-Putin noises, but will not risk a serious showdown.

A mental hospital is long overdue for John McCain. There, he will rant to the nurses about Putin, run around the hospital park yelling "We are all Moldovans now!", munch on falafel sent by Bibi Netanyahu, and write articles for National Review and the Weekly Standard. His buddies Saakashvili and Tymoshenko would visit a few times a year. Perhaps, they will even write a book together. Something like: "Fighting Putin One Color Coded Revolution at a Time" to be edited by David Frum with a foreword by Charles Krauthammer.

Eugene Girin

Eugene Girin is a New York-based attorney and commentator.

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