There have been so many e-mails and cell phones and taped messages and beepers and postcards and mash notes cluttering up my communications that I just haven't been able to keep up with everything that has been happening because I have been so busy at so many gay bars and cigar bars and wine bars and booze bars and singles bars and drug bars and just plain gin mills, what with flying out to the Left Coast and jetting back and forth looking down on the flyovers, what with the Israeli election and then the Knicks and bombing the Serbs and keeping up with the market and cleaning up in those Internet stocks (and who says a Ponzi scheme doesn't work, at least for a while?), that I just haven't been able to get back to all those e-mails and tapes and beeps and what-have-you's to speak ex cathedra about the biggest story in New York, and it is a humdinger. So here is my belated response because everybody who is anybody has been asking me even though they don't want me to mention to anybody that they did ask me, so if anybody asks, you didn't hear it from me, nor did I say anything indiscreet about Cameron Diaz or Jennifer Lopez or Denise Richards or Henry Kissinger or any of those lovelies that I hang out with when I am hanging out in the kind of bar that lovelies hang out in, which is most of the time these days.
Sure, they kind of pump up the volume in the places I'm talking about (Turn the beat around! Love...