Cultural Revolutions

November Elections

The November elections were hailed as a great GOP victory long before the votes were cast, much less counted. For Mr. Clinton, the Republicans' victory came as a shock. The economy seems in good shape, employment figures are up, and even the Haitian fiasco turned out better than could have been expected. So what is the problem? And this is what none of Mr. Clinton's friends will tell him: the problem is you, Mr. President, you and that wife of yours and that set of Cabinet secretaries you promised would look like America but turned out to have been created by Todd Browning.

Between now and 1996, the President has only one option, if he wishes to seek reelection. First, he has to shake up his Cabinet and get rid of, at the very least, the more flagrant lesbians, the Don Juan being blackmailed by a former mistress, and the dwarf—Janet Reno is no Snow White and Robert Reich, for all his academic pretensions, is no Doc, unless you count honorary degrees. Second, and I think the President will have already reached this conclusion by himself, the First Lady has to be sent on an extended "good will" tour to check out the condition of tropical rain forests in Africa and Asia—South America may be too close. Finally, the President has to pull the plug on his own television coverage. This means no press conferences, no town meetings, no appearances on America's Most Wanted. Let him be filmed once a month, preferably...

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