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Politically Correct Nursery Rhymes

Political correctness may have started in the universities, but it has begun to trickle down into other areas of American culture. I recently discovered a new series of biographies for children that includes lives not only of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln but also of former Beatles guitarist John Lennon. I also came across a book that purports to help parents locate "nonsexist reading material" for their children—as if a "nonsexist" tale were as hard to find as a spotted owl or a whooping crane. I knew things were really getting bad when I saw that a local restaurant had renamed its Indian pudding "Native American pudding." If things keep going at this rate, it won't be long before p.c. trickles all the way down to nursery rhymes.

When the revisionism does come, what will the new thinkers do with the old rhymes? Will "Rub-a-Dub-Dub, Three Men in a Tub" be transformed into a gay liberation anthem? Will feminists insist on eliminating Peter-Peter, the Pumpkin-Eater, on the grounds that he chauvinistically tries to confine his wife in a pumpkin shell? Will they rewrite Punch and Judy so that Judy starts punching Punch back? Will they change "Old Mother Hubbard" to "Old (M)-Other Hubbard," in keeping with the latest feminist orthography? Will they rewrite "Jack and Jill" to illustrate "the oppression of wimmin in Amerika"? if so, the new...

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