Vital Signs

Park Ranger Columbo: The Vince Foster Affair

A scene from an unpublished teledrama: The Oval Office of the White House. Behind the desk, the President of the United States. He speaks into an intercom.

Bill Clinton: Are there any more appointments today?

Voice from the intercom: There is just one more. The park ranger in charge of the investigation into poor Vince Foster's suicide would like to make his report to you.

BC, grimaces, but responds politely: Send him right in, please. From a door, stage right, emerges a middle-aged man with slumping shoulders, wearing the uniform of a U.S. Park Ranger and a worn raincoat. He looks confused as he enters, then sees the President and brightens up.

Park Ranger: Oh, Mr. President, there you are. So good of you to meet with me, Sir. BC: Not at all, Park Ranger. I'm happy to see you.

PR, shaking hands: This is a real pleasure. Sir.

BC, looking at his watch: This will only take a few minutes, won't it. Park Ranger?

PR: Oh, yes. I think so, Sir.

BC, beckoning to a chair in front of his desk: Please make yourself comfortable.

PR, sitting down: Thank you, Mr. President. It's quite an honor to meet vou....

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