March 2010 
Too Good To Be Untrue(9)
In honor of tonight’s NFL draft, Chronicles presents this piece from the March issue.
The amoeba. You remember it from biology class; it’s your long-lost relative. Don’t believe it? Well, you’re probably one of those pro-life Christian homeschooling losers. You don’t play nice with others. You are socially maladjusted.
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A Cold and Distant Mirror
German director Michael Haneke loves to sneer at his middle-class patrons. In Funny Games (1997, remade in the United States in 2007) and Caché (2005), his affluent characters are shown to be at once odious and craven. In his latest effort, The White Ribbon, we discover they’re natural Nazis too. And for this enlightenment, Haneke has been honored by bourgeois saps around the world, including the saps at that most bourgeois of redoubts, the Golden Globes, who have hailed Ribbon as 2009’s best foreign film.
Divide and Conquer
The word Afghanistan, which refers to a region and not to a nation, is a great stumbling block to any would-be overlord. Indeed, the whole mistake of the current American operation may be said to derive from the delusion that there is any such nation as Afghanistan.
The Bubble Economy
“Why,” Sheila Ramus asked, “if there are so many pro-lifers here, does Rockford have an abortion clinic?”
Sheila, my wife and I, and our pastor, Fr. Brian Bovee, were waiting to check in at Rockford’s annual Pro-Life Banquet. An hour before the dinner was scheduled to begin, the Holy Family Room (yes, that is its name) in the basement of Holy Family Parish was almost full.
More in this category
- The Mental Time Machine
- Don Quixote at West Point
- The New Yorker Under the Glass
- From Good War to Bad Social Engineering
- Afghanistan Is Our Afghanistan—March 2010

