Maxims for American Intellectuals
(good for putting down right-wing bigots at cocktail parties or in the classroom)
Taking off your shoes at the airport is patriotic and makes you safer.
If college athletes fail academically it is obviously society's fault.
HIV is an unfortunate virus and not caused by human behaviour.
Presidents are good and do what is best for us, except Nixon.
Poverty causes crime and if we eliminate poverty we can eliminate crime.
America has always been a nation of immigrants.
Diversity is a wonderful thing. Everybody should be required to accept it.
Excellence in education and equality in education are the same thing.
We are bringing democracy to Iraq and Afghanistan. We ought to be, and soon will be, doing the same for Iran.
Freedom means that all forms of non-coercive sexual activity are equally acceptable, as is declared in the Constitution.
In our Constitution, the Founding Fathers established for all time that "all men are created equal."
Our Constitution demands a "wall of separation" between church and state. Churches should never interfere in politics unless it is to support progressive causes.
There is no such thing as race, but some races deserve special advantages.
Crime and social dysfunction in Northern metropolises are caused by slavery in the South that ended a century and a half ago.
Slavery in the South was the greatest atrocity in history except for Hitler's killing of the Jews.
People oppose Obama only because he is black.
Bigotry is totally unacceptable except anti-Catholicism and anti-Arabism.
Terrorism mostly is to be feared from right-wing bigots.
The volcano eruption in Iceland was caused by rising right-wing extremism.
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Why hold such a narrow and parochial view point - the maxim should read:
"The world has always been comprised of nations of immigrants."
And here is another:
European seizure of Native American Lands and the subjugation of Native American peoples were evil acts. Native American seizure of neighboring tribal lands and the subjugation of the neighboring tribesmen were simply expressions of the dominant tribe’s destiny.
Hauntingly astute insight! Sadly, much of our intellectual elite would not grasp the hypocrisy and satire packed into the piece, but would consider it simply a useful handout for incoming freshmen! (Oops, I'm sorry... incoming freshpeople) Of course, they would assign it over two semesters, since you wouldn't want to overburden young students before they complete the remedial reading courses.
I think I owe the good professor a sanity stipend for helping me keep whatever is left of mine!
More money cures all problems, societal or individual.
A nation was founded in 1789, there being no Americans prior to that year.
Lincoln saved the Union which he destroyed.
The U.S. Constitution as ratified by the states sovereign is a declaration of human rights.
Many worthy emanations are hidden within the penumbra of the 14th amendent and other amendments ready to be discovered by federal judges.
"The volcano eruption in Iceland was caused by rising right-wing extremism."
I KNEW IT!!!!!!!
I would say that anyone subscribing to all or at least most of the above has a bright future ahead in academia.
The United States is a nation of ideas reflecting our common Judeo-Christian heritage.
The Union existed before the States.
The first principle of American politics is equality, not the right and duty of self-government.
Communism/Socialism died with the Soviet Union.
Stalin was a thug. Trotsky was an intellectual and a gentleman.
There is no God but Union and Lincoln is it's prophet-martyr.
The is no justice but egalitarianism and King is it's prophet-martyr.
The present day Southwest United States rightfully belonged to Mexico and rest belonged to Native Americans.
Hmmm, anti-Arabism does not seem to be highly fashionable or even acceptable in the academic "intellectual" circles I have observed. Perhaps it depends on the circle. I do know that bigotry towards white Christian men will be forever all the rage. Kudos to Dr. Wilson for reminding us how silly of a world we live in.
The mestizo Mexican immigrants have Amerindian ancestry therefore the land in North America all the way to Newfoundland rightfully belongs to them.
Forcefully taking something from someone and giving it to someone else because of skin color or nationality is equality.
A little more time (and technology) will solve many of our current problems and difficulties, while the distant future should pretty much solve all of them -- including death, illness, ageing, global warming and cooling, (the weather) energy dependence,(oil spills) and of course the spread of American democracy.
The Constitution can't possibly mean the same thing today,as it did in 1787.
"Bigotry is totally unacceptable except anti-Catholicism and anti-Arabism."
You mean "anti-Christianism".
#15. You missed the humour. The things mentioned are not in the Constitution at all. They are not misinterpretations, they are total falsifications.
"The religion of a Supreme Court Justice nominee only matters when he or she is a Catholic or an evangelical." I looked in vain in the news releases about the the new nominee concerning her religion. No mention at all unless you did a little research on your own. However, if she were a Catholic in would be mentioned front and center on almost every paragraph. So it is 'intellectually' acceptable behavior to be anti-Catholic but to be anti-semitic or anti-Muslim is totally unacceptable. I guess we have always had selective bigotry but the anti-Catholicism of the Yankee and Eastern establishment has never gone out of fashion in 400 years.
"I guess we have always had selective bigotry but the anti-Catholicism of the Yankee and Eastern establishment has never gone out of fashion in 400 years."
Yes, but soon even they will be reading about the religion they hate in Spanish. They even despise their most orthodox defenders such as Robert Frost, because he was born in California, came to his own in the swamps of North Carolina and lived on a small farm in New Hampshire. It is getting to the point that what they think doesn't matter as much as how much money they are willing to spend. But that has probably and always been their strongest suit when it came to politics, as folks like Buchanan proved by winning in their own back yard before they could spend enough to shut him down out West.