Cassandra’s Lament
In a previous column I expressed irritation at those numerous folks who confess to having voted for George W. Bush in 2000 (and even 2004) because they were deceived into believing he was a “conservative.” For anyone believing that Bush was a “conservative” in 2000 the only deception going on was self-deception. Here is a little satire that appeared in Chronicles’ July 2000 issue. It is republished in my book From Union to Empire (hint, hint). I know from long and sad experience that there is no human achievement less rewarding than being right too soon.
Five Minutes With Governor Bush (July 2000)
Through the good offices of a friend who is a large contributor to Republican causes, Chronicles was able to secure a brief exclusive interview with George W. Bush—the likely next President of the United States. We caught up with Governor Bush in Des Moines a few minutes before he was to address the annual joint convention of the Midwestern Association of Funeral Directors and the Funeral Cosmetologists of America.
Chronicles: Governor Bush, you have promised tax cuts. Many people remember your father's famous promise of "no new taxes" and may be afraid that such promises can't or won't be kept. A related concern is that the middle- and working-class incomes are declining while the rich are getting richer.
George W. Bush: America is the land of opportunity for everybody. We have to cut taxes to make sure people take advantage of the great entrepreneurial opportunities—like oil, and baseball, for instance.
C: Many Americans feel deeply that abortion is a sin and a crime and that its widespread acceptance is a sign of a sick society.
BUSH: I am deeply concerned about abortion. That is why I passed a parental notification law in Texas that is a model for the nation—to make teenagers notify their parents when they are going to have an abortion—and vice versa.
C: Many Americans are concerned about the militarization of the federal police and incidents such as Ruby Ridge, during your father's administration, and Waco, which happened in your state. Do you think measures should be taken to identify those responsible and punish them, and to restrain such incidents in the future?
BUSH: I am the law-and-order candidate. As President, I will make sure the police have all the tools they need to handle dangerous criminals. When I am President, you won't have dangerous bigots like this John Rocker prowling the streets shooting off his mouth. He makes me sick. I wish we could have him at Yale for just one week, but he probably couldn't pass the entrance exam. And I want to assure my friend Charlton Heston and members of the NRA that I admire the Bill of Rights, and when I am President there will not be a lot of bad people owning guns who are not NRA members.
C: Governor, nearly everybody realizes that public education is failing. It is possible that the problem is too much federal intervention and that the government ought to cut back its involvement?
BUSH: I will be the Education President. I will make sure all our teachers are held to high standards without discrimination and all our students have equal opportunity to the highest quality education so that they are prepared to be part of the global economy in the New World Order—which, by the way, my Dad invented.
C: Governor, our readers feel that American military intervention in foreign situations has been too frequent and aggressive and that we ought to scale back toward a national interest policy.
BUSH: I am a conservative, a bold, compassionate conservative. America must always be ready when democracy is threatened anywhere in the world—like those people that invaded Albania. As President Kennedy said, you must bear any burden.
C: Many people are concerned about the high levels of immigration, as well as apparently unrestricted illegal immigration, which may be drastically changing our country. Do you think one million immigrants a year is too many, not enough, or about right?
BUSH: America is a nation of immigrants. We need immigrants with their talents and skills to take advantage of those opportunities that I said before. That is why I sponsored bilingual education in Texas—to help all those immigrants we need to have a strong, healthy global economy.
C: Many of our readers are concerned about what could be called judicial tyranny, that the federal courts have usurped the role of the people and lawmakers in deciding major issues. How do you feel about that?
BUSH: I am the bold conservative candidate for compassionate conservatism! I will appoint great Republican Supreme Court justices like Earl Warren, Harry Brennan, Clarence Blackmun, and Ruth Bader O'Connor. And I will make sure we have diversity on the Court.
At this point we were interrupted by staff members reminding the governor of his next engagement.
C: Thank you, Governor. This has been most enlightening for our readers.
BUSH: Remember to tell them I am the conservative candidate, the true, the bold, the compassionate conservative. That's how we will win the Republican victory.
Entries(RSS)
This is very funny.
The only thing missing is his plan to spend eleventy billion dollars on bombing people into our image, which they obviously want in spite of their religions, cultures, and national traditions.
“to make teenagers notify their parents when they are going to have an abortion—and vice versa.”
“there will not be a lot of bad people owning guns who are not NRA members.”
“when democracy is threatened anywhere in the world—like those people that invaded Albania.”
“That is why I sponsored bilingual education in Texas—to help all those immigrants we need to have a strong, healthy global economy.”
“I will appoint great Republican Supreme Court justices like Earl Warren, Harry Brennan, Clarence Blackmun, and Ruth Bader O’Connor.”
“That’s how we will win the Republican victory.”
...
Please refresh my memory, this was from that recent interview with that blond teen candidate for “Miss Junior USA” (or whatever its name)?
At this point I need to fess up. I voted for W in 2000, to my everlasting shame, and it was my fault for not being informed. Granted I was taking classes at the Pontifical college San Anselmo in Rome, and I wasn't terribly interested in the whole American game. I was more interested with the high taxes in the city, the EU fascist regime inserting itself in Italy and translating medieval texts for a professor who couldn't read Latin well(!). E-mails I received and conversations with my military buddies informed me that I needed to vote for Bush to try and stop abortion, and I had the ol' pro-life blinders on. Thus I cast that fateful absent T ballot, and here we are. I did not do it in 2004 because by then I saw the real W, not the one the pro-lifers packaged for us, being misled themselves. O wailing and nashing of teeth, here I come!
Al Gore the Sighing candidate invented the internet. Remember in his debate with Bush the minor (hard to believe it's possible-?-less is more?) Gore's sighs'n huffs and puffs whenever Bush the Minor was attempting to speak during the televised debates, were all too audible. I remember we were all watching and when we heard 'sighing?' we thought: what was that-?-is a moderator's mike still on? Until it was consistent throughout and became all too apparent. It didn't help either that someone who must be an adept at doing the make-up for clowns, or geisha girls also apparently did Gore's last minute touch-ups before Al could take one last glance at himself in the mirror-prior to rushing out to make history on stage-as a sighing clown. And one who had previously invented the internet...
Is it any coincidence he's been 'chosen' to save us from global warming?
But to Al's credit (pardon the pun), he was misquoted about his inventing the internet. His bill in Congress which passed, I forget the name something along the lines of the Consumer Credit Protection Act did make commerce on the internet possible - because it made it safe for "consumers" [albeit i like to dignify them and refer to them as 'customers'] translation the Customer Credit Protection Act did make it safe for them to use their credit cards "Online." Because now thanks to Al's legislation, if their credit card numbers were ripped off in cyber space OR they did not get what they bought Online the 'Customers' [i.e. consumers] were now by law NOT responsible for those charges.
And so all Al was saying or insinutating, patting himself on the back was that he had made COMMERCE on the internet possible... and so might as well have invented it. Otherwise in a commerical nation-world like the United States, what good would it otherwise be?
The press for the past hundred years in the United States, and Especially of late - is the servant of the "powers that be" ... and given the sort of surgical hatchet job Gore received by the press during his presidential bid, it seems 'they' had favored bush the minor... to occupy the hallowed office of the president. Hmmm. The usual suspects, I'm afraid...that lobby A.I.P.A.C., sadly. It's not all jews though of course, it's just those few who always lead them for the most part around by the nose - and subsequently the rest of us as well. They're very good at it.
Al's now the global warming candidate...
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At only 22 years of age and a 4th-generation resident of California, I am a sheep among wolves, especially on my community college campus. I am happy that there are others in this country who have made such observations as I have. I am honored and I thank our Almighty Lord that there are others who revere the American nation and its traditions.
That villain George W. Bush was apparently the hundred millionth person to call Atlanta Braves pitcher John Rocker a bigot and/or racist, according to the words of the interview which Dr. Wilson had displayed. Of course neither Mr. Bush nor anybody else who did so can prove his claim that Mr. Rocker was a hateful and bigoted person. If making claims about the vast majority of members of a certain race which happen to be undeniably true is a racist and bigoted deed, then he's as racist and bigoted as they come.
Mr. Bush's immature and laughable mention of Mr. Rocker certainly brought back memories. Of course then I was an impressionable young high school freshman, willingly swallowing American establishment Kool-Aid, and as a result I concluded that he was indeed a public enemy. Now that I have freed myself from 12 years of John Dewey's (may he burn in Hell) public school propaganda, I see the situation clearly. I certainly have been scared ever since I started reading Dr. Wilson's articles. I have been in a couple of Poly Sci classes in college in the recent past, and I am in one now. I wonder what would happen in class if, when my professor brought up the subject, I verbally stated undeniable facts like:
The Confederacy was on the right side of the War of Egalitarian and Unconstitutional Yankee Aggression.
African-Americans as a whole had better manners, much more love and respect for America and for people in positions of authority, and were a proud part of the American nation . . . when slavery was legal.
Honest Abe and FDR were consistent and constant violators of the Constitution, and the Founding Fathers would have recommended their impeachment.
The Civil Rights movement was engineered, orchestrated, and spurred on by communists, and the eventual enforcement of all of its legal mandates is responsible for the current plight of African-Americans.
Perhaps my life would be in danger if I did, but it matters not. No matter how I die, I will go with God and with the love of the Republic in my heart. Until then, just like those 12 Southerners, I'll take my stand.
"Please refresh my memory, this was from that recent interview with that blond teen candidate for “Miss Junior USA” (or whatever its name)?"
No, this is that other cheerleader, the one with the big Yale megaphone.
A round two on the way? I hope not. Giuliani is still polling way ahead, here in South Carolina. Here are a few things I think the polls really missed: 1) They weren't right about Howard Dean blowing everybody away four years ago, 2) Hillary and Obama are much more vulnerable to Edwards than the TV says, and 3) Giuliani is not the only GOP candidate who can beat a Democrat.
It's surprising when good people say that Giuliani is the only way to reduce the size of government. Don't fall for this! Even Jim Dobson announced this week that he will not be supporting any of the current frontrunners.
And so what if the size of government grows a little more than it would if a Republican were elected. This bizarre faith in the idea of reducing the size of government is code language for drone-like loyalty to our celebrity rulers.
Start your freedom from guilt now. It's one thing to vote for the lesser of two evils. It's another to vote for the microscopically smaller evil. So what if Rome falls a few years earlier. Maybe this time there'll be more Benedictines.
This satire is very close to reality!
Satire?
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Less than satire... or more-?-
Quote of C.N.W. the soon to be t.v. station, [thanks God!?!] : quote - "I know from long and sad experience that there is no human achievement less rewarding than being right too soon." (end quote)
Oh, stop your whining!?! The protagonist in my short story AMERICAN CARTOON whines ineluctably in similar fashion and his wife in the story calls him on it. ... Ok, so I'll be the broad (now in real life)... stop your whining. Let it go. -
I kid. No, seriously there's - in a larger or separate reality no such thing as being right too soon. But here in this world you are correct (like my protagonist) - since we are all a part of the group, then also even when we simply attempt to nudge it in the right direction -as it were- "too soon" ... They often turn on you of course. And you are correct, subsequently since we are all inevitably a part of the group yes - IT CAN BE VERY UNREWARDING. Sometimes even though we sense or possibly know it in advance we still do it since it seems to be our role or karma?????? We don't care... we have that poetic sensibility which says teach us to care and not to care. Funny.
Then when it's 'time' at last for what you attempted to nudge them toward, and they go for it since it's obvious to them... it's more UNREWARDING still, since they act like THEY KNEW IT ALL ALONG. ouch, mama. D'hats democrazy boss.
So you are correct... but not in the LARGER or separate reality wherein it is never too soon to be what it already IS (right) ... C'est la [double/even treble] vie. I guess it's always two-two-two mints in One? Funny. Sad. Almost makes one want to rob a bank, no? NO. Or get thee to a banker!?! Ok... I'm reaching to my bookshelf for Shakespeare, he must have something to say on the matter?!?
Ah, he seems to be agreeing with me or 'us' ...
'If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.' -W.S.
amen
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Vote Ron Paul this time friends!!!
I suspect (albeit it's early) I agree with Justitia/ and A.N. ... save poets, even if necessary central bankers, the good working men and women, and the planet... vote for Ron Paul - the exception to the rule which proves it. You CAN trust a man with 2 first names!!!!!!! amen... can I get an amen?! God? ...
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I have reservations about Ron Paul. He was a former Libertarian Party candidate for president - a party known for its ideological support for open borders. During a recent interview with vdare.com he said he supported immigration in general.
Oh, yes, that article, a month ago
http://www.atimes.com/atimes/Middle_East/II11Ak03.html
“…
In 2004, the online magazine Salon published an interview with Yoshi Tsurumi, Bush’s first-year macroeconomics professor at the Harvard Business School during the 1973-74 academic year…
Bush … frequently came to class late, and rarely participated in class discussions, choosing instead to sit up in a back row of the class wearing his Texas Air National Guard (Tsurumi reports that Bush bragged that his father’s political connections got him out of the requirement of full service in the Texas ANG) bomber jacket spitting chewing tobacco into a paper cup.
“Yup, one of those.” I, and probably every other teacher, groaned upon first reading that. Every class has one of those. This one went on to be president of the United States.
Bush scored in the lowest 10% of his class; as for his skills in, as the grade-school report cards put it, “getting along with others”, Tsurumi reported that even there young Bush needed some remedial help.
“He showed pathological lying habits and was in denial when challenged on his prejudices and biases. He would even deny saying something he just said 30 seconds ago. He was famous for that. Students jumped on him; I challenged him. When asked to explain a particular comment, Bush would respond, ‘Oh, I never said that.’”
In other words, even then he showed precisely the attributes Americans really want in their president.
…”
On satire and parody, I recall that S. J. Perelman, toward the end of his life, gave up writing it because he found that he could no longer contrive anything as bizarre or absurd as what was reported in the daily news. "Cassandra's Lament" reminds me of that observation.
On the positions of Ron Paul (or any other politician) we should always remember that politics is the choice between a variety of evils - our task in primaries being to choose the least, and in general elections the lesser of two - and to bear in mind that our very best judgment at the time of an election may very well turn out to be mistaken. If we cannot approach the task with that understanding, it may be better not to attempt it at all.
"it may be better not to attempt it at all."
Much better.
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